


Registration Number 24601

by AdaptationDecay



Category: Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Episode: s10e04 Top Gear (UK), Multimedia, Other, riona made me do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 03:50:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2837018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdaptationDecay/pseuds/AdaptationDecay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the crime of over-enunciating, Jeremy Valjeremy, was sentenced to 19 years hard labour presenting a consumer affairs programme called Old Top Gear...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Registration Number 24601

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Riona](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riona/gifts), [melannen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melannen/gifts).



For the crime of over-enunciating, Jeremy Valjeremy, was sentenced to 19 years hard labour presenting a mind-blowingly dull consumer affairs programme called Old Top Gear.

Upon completing his sentence, an embittered Valjeremy's life was forever changed by a clergyman known as the Archbishop Wilman, who persuaded Valjeremy that he could be forgiven for having bored the public with segments on emissions tests and that it was Valjeremy's destiny to create a new type of magazine programme about motoring: something humorous and light-hearted that people would actually want to watch. Archbishop Wilman vowed to help Valjeremy by producing the show, but the attempt to create New Top Gear broke the terms of Valjeremy's parole and he was soon a wanted man, pursued by his former boss, Tiff Needell, driving the sinister JaVWert.

Valjeremy fled to Africa with a film crew, convinced that if he could just drive across Botswana in a comically unsuitable car, then the fate of New Top Gear would be assured. With this goal in mind, he sought out co-presenters to join him on his quest.

His first co-presenter - a young man named Hammarius - had sought out a cheap disposable car to use for the duration of his stay in Africa, only to find himself falling head over heels in love with the blonde Opel Kosette. Devastated at the thought of losing her, Hammarius begins to lay secret plans to bring Kosette back to England so that they can be together forever, unwittingly breaking the heart of the second co-presenter, Mayonine, who nurses a secret love of Hammarius.

Soon JaVWert arrives in Botswana and the race is on. Valjeremy and his co-presenters must film their new show, evade their pursuer and make their way to the safety of Namibia across the Makgadikgadi salt pans which only the smallest, lightest vehicles can cross safely. 

Can they remove enough peripherals from their cars to cross the salt pans? Will Valjeremy manage to film his masterpiece while evading JaVWert? Will Opel Kosette make it across the salt pans unmodified or will Hammarius have to choose between his love and his friends? All will be revealed in... **ONE DAY MORE**.

**[Click here to play video.](https://vid.me/XkdP)**


End file.
